Life transitions can result in a variety of painful symptoms ranging from emotional to physical or both. Whether relocation moves are local or long-distance, you can experience long-term pain from lifting heavy boxes or leaving your social circles. Here’s one type of situational pain to watch out for. Avoid a fraudulent scheme, save yourself unwarranted pain via a warning in this podcast. Read on to learn more.
Image by Saranya7 from Pixabay
Head’s up. If you’re in the midst of a pending local or long distance move or contemplating a future relo, I heartily recommend this episode “Lessons on Intuition, Shame, and Speaking Your Truth via a Cross Country Move” from September 15, 2023 (also available on Audioboom for non-Apple users) on the podcast, “The Cure for Chronic Pain” hosted by Nicole Sachs, LCSW.
Ok, that feels like it totally didn’t make sense. Chronic pain? Relocation? As I sit here, revisiting my notes for this tip, I realize now that I hadn’t associated the types of pain often experienced with moves. Throwing your back out lifting boxes or packing books are potential long-term hazards. The intense emotional pain felt by my high school-aged daughter many moons ago when we moved her 2000 miles away from her Texas home, her support network, one of the top high schools in the country, to live in the Pacific NW resulted in mental trauma and physical ailments during those initial years. Some of that pain appears to be chronic.
There are many forms of pain that we can experience when we undergo drastic transitions throughout our lives. Job changes, relationship upheavals, personal losses, financial hardships, and so on that can affect our mental and physical well-being. I serendipitously landed on the aforementioned podcast a few weeks ago. I’ve become a new hardcore devotee. It’s not that I’m dealing with chronic physical pain, although there are physical ailments needing attention. This podcast has normalized and redirected attention to the roots of chronic mental and physical symptoms that persist and morph as the years go by. Podcast topics span the breadth of all types of pain including but not limited to mental, emotional, and situational.
This episode delves into situational pain that can trigger other types of pain. During a cross-country move, the host shares lessons learned from a personal unpleasant scam. I’d recommend tuning in to hear how she handles rough situations with intentional grace and ease. What’s even better than handling bad situations gracefully? Avoiding them altogether. Spare yourself major fraud-induced headaches. At the episode conclusion, the host bravely shares the vendors’ names in the hopes of sparing others the hassles she endured during and after her long-distance relocation.
Check out “The Cure for Chronic Pain App”. The episode: “Lessons on Intuition, Shame, and Speaking Your Truth via a Cross Country Move” from September 15, 2023
Freshly off a 12-day home clear-out, there are a number of observations and strategies I think are worth passing along. Why? Someday you will leave your current residence for larger or smaller quarters, relocation to a new area, or to a place that better suits your needs. Chances are you’ll be tasked with assisting a family member or friend as their life journey segues into a new phase. I decided to break this down into 2 separate weekly tips to relay the info in a more manageable way. This week focuses on numerous aspects that you may not have bargained for.
1. Physical and mental exhaustion
2. Emotional anguish
3. Financial expenses
4. Time commitments
5. Relationship navigation
Let’s take a look at each of these factors.
1. Physical and mental exhaustion.
Your timeline will impact your physical efforts. The more time you have to devote to preparing and executing for a downsize or move, the more leisurely the pace. That’s ideal. Unfortunately, there are times when turnaround is tight which means your days will be long and your physical and emotional energy will be taxed. Keep in mind that health and safety protocols are constantly changing and may require additional steps in the process. Wearing a mask may also tire you out faster.
I recommend, if at all possible, begin by building your support network. Whether you can assemble a group of family or friends to aid in sorting through papers, lifting heavy boxes and weighty objects, arranging sorted items into logical locations that allow safe passage, or running disposables to donation and recycling centers, the more people you have on hand for specific assignments, the less taxing it will be for you.
Exhaustion is real. Take time to recharge physically and mentally even if only for a few moments. Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay
If the budget allows, it may be well worth your time, wallet, and overall physical and mental well-being to hire an organizer or organizing crew. This will enable you to focus on priorities such as spending time with your loved one(s) or sifting through personal documents and memorabilia so that you have the bandwidth to provide comfort and make thoughtful decisions about next steps and object destinations.
2. Emotional anguish.
The job I finished averaged 12-14 hour physically demanding days wrought with an abundance of emotions. Each morning, I awoke extra early to ensure that I had time for long, mind-clearing, meditative walks with heavy oxygen saturation. This enabled an invigorating fresh start each day. Despite depleting exhaustion, I also walked each evening as a wind-down for as long as my body agreed to move. It wasn’t easy to convince myself to take another step, however, it allowed my mind to shed any tension and mental debris that had accumulated during the day.
Self-care, however that looks for you, is vital to keep you moving and operating at a competent and safe level. Fueling your body with the foods and beverages that will nourish it as much as possible will not only aid your energy levels, it will also help with your decision-making and mental fortitude.
Then after long days, hopefully your body will crash into sweet restorative sleep. Avoid anything that you know that will interfere. Wine was definitely off my list for those 2 weeks, and no caffeine after 9 am. Still there were some nights when I was up during the detox hours of 1-4 am. Sometimes running through Tai Chi in my mind helped, other nights a calf massage or simply accepting that sleep will eventually come allowed myself to grab a few more winks before awaking before dawn.
Be prepared for emotions, and lots of them. Physical demands of projects like this are massive, but we rarely prepare for the emotional suck that is also part of the recipe. Leaving homes, friends, communities is hard, really hard if you’ve lived somewhere for a very long time. If leaving is part of a relationship break-up, that can add a whole other level of darkness and emotional roller-coastering. Be patient with yourself and give yourself lots of latitude to feel what you need to feel to get through each moment. Enlist a shoulder to sob on or raise a glass of bubbly after each major accomplishment in celebration.
If a move is not desired but necessary such as helping with a relo to assisted living, then you’re likely to encounter heavy doses of resistance, anger, fear, anxiousness, guilt, criticism, and blame. In the throes of exhaustion, it may be hard to keep your wits about you and remember that while you may be at the receiving end of all that emo-artillery, you’re not at fault. You’re doing the best that you can. You’re doing what needs to be done. Just remember all that when someday someone is tasked with helping you as part of the circle of life.
3. Financial expenses.
While downsizing hopefully saves you money in the long run, you may be shocked to see the price tag associated with clearing out and moving. From packing supplies to moving and trash removal companies, your budget will take a hit. You can save money through savvy steps such as repurposing boxes. Just be sure to avoid any that have been used for fresh foods such as produce. Those could be harboring infestations. Liquor store boxes are often clean and plentiful.
If you’re assisting someone else, factor in extraneous costs such as travel when your heart is larger than your bank account. Airline tickets, rental cars, fuel, hotels, food and beverage costs add up big time. Multiple trips or lengthy stays mean higher bills. Conversely, less trips or shorter durations can result in faster pace and more exhaustion. So if you think hiring a support team is pricey, it may be more cost-effective financially and more beneficial for your health than you think.
4. Time commitments.
Before you agree to step in, take a look at your own calendar. All the commitments and daily activities that you will be setting aside while you focus on this project. If you have no one to backfill you, keep in mind that it will all be awaiting your attention when you return or settle down into your new accommodations. Therefore, downsize your calendar as much as you can prior to launching into this project and get a jump start on bills, reports, etc. that may come due while you’re otherwise occupied. Build in recuperation time on your calendar before resuming your normal schedule. Your body and mind will thank you.
Downsize your calendar before you launch into any heavy duty time commitments. Image by rawpixel from Pixabay.jpg
5. Relationship navigation.
Finally, relationships will require thoughtful navigation. From meeting anticipated responsibilities to inheritances or potential disinheritances, beware of landmines that can trip you up. Relationships will be tested between spouses, partners, young and adult children, siblings, friends as lives are uprooted and possessions are doled. Don’t overlook the needs and expectations of your children whose behaviors take unpredicted turns in response to their world changing. Not surprisingly, potty-trained youngin’s have increased accidents as their world feels out of control. Adult children with added responsibilities of someone else’s life on top of their own may experience short tempers and diminished bandwidths.
Family discord that’s been swept under the rug may reemerge with ferocity once the carpets are removed and possessions are divvied. Again, having whatever support systems are available to you and your family members to get you through physically and emotionally will pay the biggest dividends, even more than the home sale price tag for your sanity.
If you need assistance with a downsize project or move prep, contact The Practical Sort to be part of your support team.
Regardless if you want to or not, it's inevitable that someday your residence will be cleared out. Last week’s tip, Breaking Down a Home Clear-Out (So You Don’t) guided you through the physical and emotional aspects of clearing out a home for a move or estate disposition. Now we’ll move on to the mechanics of prepping for the move and touch on dispensing of goods. You can find resources for eco and socially responsible disposal here. While these organizations are primarily in the Portland, OR metro area, there are some national outlets. These suggestions may also spur some ideas for your locality.
Whether you’re moving or preparing a home for an estate clean-out, there are lots of decisions and preparations to be made. For some brains, the seemingly endlessness can be frightfully overwhelming. Let’s break it down, so you don’t.
Wrap Your Head Around Prepping
Start here. Download The Practical Sort’s Moving Guide Checklist to take the guesswork out of where to begin and how to proceed. Don’t freak out over the document length, it’s long because it’s comprehensive. It's to help you remember things often overlooked. Best not to forget to empty your safety deposit box before you’ve flown on to another state. Skip the sections or even entire pages that don’t apply to your particular situation. If you don’t need the checklist document now, you will someday. Bookmark it in your browser for future use.
Amass your basic packing supplies: lidded boxes, scissors, packing tape, scrap paper, marker, packing tape and binder clips
Gather Supplies
Next begin amassing basic supplies. Here’s a list to get you going. Select sturdy boxes with flap-tops or have lids. Sealable boxes will aid in stacking for safe passage as you work through your project. As you stack, keep the height waist high or lower to prevent tumbling injuries. Avoid using any boxes that contained fresh foods which may harbor infestations. Liquor store and banker’s boxes are ideal for sorting and stacking. Ultimately you may not need these boxes for the move if professional packer/movers will be used. In the interim, these will provide efficient avenues for sorting, organizing, and stacking your possessions. So repurposing makes budget sense.
Along with boxes, ensure you have legible markers, scrap paper for labeling boxes, binder clips, scissors and packing tape. I prefer scrap paper and clips for labeling over writing on the boxes as this method allows you to repurpose boxes or switch contents around if you find that some sizes or shapes are better used for other goods as you make your way through your rooms. When labeling be as specific as your comfort level requires from general categories and rooms to a rough itemization.
Establish a Comfortable Work Center
Label boxes with your level of specificity
Set up a work center. Choose a well-lit area with comfortable climate control as you'll be working strenuously (mentally and physically). If bending and lifting are difficult for you, a portable yet sturdy table for sorting. Set aside large bins, boxes or bags for trash and recyclables to avoid making lots of little trips to the outdoor disposal receptacles. Same goes for room to room items, this is especially helpful when unpacking. Set aside a box or 2 for delivering odds and ends to other rooms to keep similar items together such as hair accessories. Wait until these boxes are nearly full before shuttling them unless you desire the exercise and have lots of spare time.
Inventory Goods and Current Condition
Keep track of your high value and precious inventory as you pack with an inventory list. Feel free to use this list, modify it to meet your needs, or create your own. Add a column for room destination. There are also lots of inventory examples online. Be sure to note the condition of items via notes and/or photos. Should anything sustain damage during the transition, this will be helpful for filing insurance claims.
Next week’s tip will guide you to getting the professionals on board to support you through this process.
Mechanics of a Home Clear-Out: Prepping The House Transaction
Part 3 of this series on home-clearouts due to moving, downsizing, or estate clean-out focuses on the disposition of the house. We’ll look at a variety of options for effectively executing property transference. First, we prepare.
Jumpstart
As part of the prep for disposition of a home via sale or other means, it’s important to begin researching your options and contractors asap. This is particularly critical during peak selling season in your area. Why? If you don’t act expeditiously, you may not get who you want or meet your deadlines. Tap into your social and professional networks to begin building your project team. Often it helps if you are referred by a current client, colleague, or friend as a level of trust is implied. However, if calendars are overflowing, there’s no guarantee that your #1 or #2 choice will have openings available for you.
Get Your Contractors in a Row
Keep in mind that if you have a preferred listing date, all desired contract work will need to be done prior. That can take weeks or even months of planning and completion. If home improvements aren’t in your budget, bandwidth, or timeline, you have the option of selling a house in “As Is” condition. In hot markets, “as is” condition likely won’t be detrimental if the location and structural integrity are solid. In cool or cold markets, curb and interior appeal are imperative to setting your home apart from local competition and to achieve your desired outcome.
Know before you go…to your phone or computer
It’s helpful to familiarize yourself with what you should know about selected professions and professionals before signing any agreements. For example, you’ve heard glowing reviews about a real estate broker with whom you think will be ideal to sell fast and furiously. Read the fine print to ensure that your point person will be the lead on your job. Some agencies are comprised of teams. You could end up working with a team member you haven’t met.
If your friend insists you need to work with Broker A because she is a dear friend, ensure that Broker A is familiar with your city and more specifically your neighborhood. How long have they been selling? Are they a seller’s or buyer’s broker or both? Take a look at their current listings. What’s the average time on the market for those homes vs average market time for the area? Research listing vs sold prices in their inventory. How did they do?
Do they belong to any professional organizations? Do they hold certifications and accreditations that are relevant to your home sale such as historic home specialist or luxury properties?
Where and how do they market? Are they innovative and savvy with the latest media and marketing trends to ensure that your property reaches the largest target populations? Are their suggested listings strategically priced evidenced by appropriate area comparisons, property assets, and community value?
Aside from expertise, meet with your prospective brokers to ensure that you’re compatible and on the same page with your goals, timelines and price points. You’ll be entrusting this person with selling one of your (or a loved one’s) most precious and valuable assets, it’s important that you establish a like, know, and trust relationship from the get-go.
For any contractors you hire, check for ratings and reviews. In Oregon, visit the Construction Contractors Board (CCB) website for current license status and disciplinary/complaint history.
Optimize Appeal
Ensure that the home moves quickly and for top dollar, optimize curb and interior appeal with these strategic checklist tips. Download the document to use as a handy checklist to track to-dos and what’s been done.
Arrangement Alternatives
Selling a home is not the only option if the land is part of an inheritance or lump-sum proceeds aren’t necessary. Gift the home to a relative in need of shelter. Keep in mind whether their on-going finances can support the expenses of home ownership. Watching your former property fall into disrepair is disheartening. Your budget may not appreciate unanticipated continuous financing for upkeep.
Look into charitable organizations accepting home donations (as well as automobiles) or home sale proceeds. Consult with your financial planner and estate attorney for optimizing tax and financial benefits.
If you’re looking for a continuous stream of income, rent the property. Short and long-term rentals come with additional upkeep and management costs. Again, consult with your financial and legal professionals as well as property management companies for more information.
We’ve made it to Part 4 of this series to help you effectively clear out a home as a result of a move, downsize, or estate clean out. Don’t need the information now? You will someday.
Last week focused on the disposition of a home. This week we head inside to deal with the contents. Somehow just about everything that isn’t attached, secured, or inserted into the home will need to be removed. How? To make this easier, let’s break the process down into 3 segments:
There’s a lot of decisions coming down the pike. If you’re already challenged to make choices, look to your support system. Image by Sophie Janotta from Pixabay
- Decide
- What do you take with you?
- Will there be room?
- Where will you put them?
- Will they fit the décor?
- Do you (still) have need or desire for it?
- Is it worth paying to move or ship it?
So many decisions and there will be lots more I promise. If you’re typically challenged by choices, turn to those you trust such as a spouse, adult child, good friend. If you’re coming up empty, seek assistance from a neutral third party, i.e., someone not invested in the outcome. Those with no attachments to the objects, their destination, and their value can help us see more clearly what’s important to us and worth retaining. Unbiased guidance is critical if storage is very limited or space is already cramped. A plug for organizers, this is what we’re paid to do. Literally and figuratively our job, among many, is to hold your hand (barring pandemic social distancing) as we work step by step through the process. The more stuff, the more overwhelming it can be to go it alone. Seek support, select mindfully.
Dole
If you’re not interested in retaining the items or have no room, what do you do?
Doling is easy if an estate bequeaths the items to particular individuals. Take heed, before you ship grandma’s grand piano to cousin Lou, verify that Lou wants and has room for the piano. Maybe Lou is willing to help offset the costs of the shipment. Objects, particularly large ones, may not be welcome. You also may not be aware of memories, acrimonious feelings, or traumatic relationships that bequests can stir up. As executor, ensure that bequest provisions in the will are honored before divying.
Donate new or gently used items to nearby non-profit agencies. Call ahead to ensure that your items are accepted and their current donation protocols. Not all of treasures are needed or wanted by organizations. Unusable goods are unappreciated as they take up space and cost money to dispose. For your convenience, some organizations have resumed pick-up services. Even if they charge a fee, the time and gas savings for you may be well worth the investment. Here’s a list of donation resources and ideas about the types of organizations to look for in your area.
Sell. Carefully consider whether you have the time, bandwidth, and help to successfully execute a garage sale or even online transactions. It takes time to photograph, research current values, advertise, set up and take down a garage sale as well as staff it. After all that effort, the yields may not to be as high as you hope. When preparing for sales, whether using online marketplaces or holding a garage sale, plan safety precautions. Meet online buyers in safe locations away from your home if possible. Staff someone near high value goods and home entryways during garage sales.
Consign furniture, jewelry, clothing, accessories, artwork, and housewares. Unless they offer pickup services, you will need to deliver to the consignment shop and then share the profits. Expect to retrieve unsold items after the sales period or the consignor may offer to donate, recycle or trash on your behalf. Before signing any agreements, read the fine print for profit splits, sale duration, what happens to unsold goods, grace period for retrieving unsold items, and will you have to pay for transporting unsold items to a disposal facility?
Unload most, if not all, home contents via estate sale.
Estate sales are worth investigating when it comes to unloading most or all of a home’s contents. Step aside and allow someone else to take over the workload of pricing, advertising, transacting a house full of goods. Before you contract with a company, review these estate sale guidelines to know what you’re getting into. Don’t be shocked if the proceeds are significantly lower than anticipated. I’ve noticed time and again working with clients that original receipt and perceived value ultimately don’t equate to current market value. A $3000 family heirloom china set from the early 1900s doubtfully mellowed with age to double or triple in value. In fact, if you get several hundred dollars for it, that will be amazing. You might be able to offload the set or individual pieces to companies specializing in china replacement. **
Presently, the younger generations have little interest in these types of collectibles coupled with scant room for storage as the cost of living continues to rise beyond their reach. Speaking of collectibles, the current value and demand for those formerly high priced ceramic statuettes and figurines have dropped significantly. From personal experience, they’re getting harder and harder to find outlets.
Again, as mentioned in previous parts of this series, start your search early for an estate sale company. During peak selling season in your area, it may be tough to get the person or company you desire. For helpful hints on how to find someone who fits your specific needs, knows your area, and has the level of expertise to get the job done, check out Managed Estate Sales: Tips & Questions to Ask Before Liquidating to determine if estate sales are right for you and how to select an estate sale company.
Deal
Now it’s time to act. Plan, prepare, consult, or simply bookmark this tip’s link for the future. Someday will be here before you know it. It’s beneficial to begin dealing as soon as you decide to move, downsize, or tasked with an estate clean-out.
**The Practical Sort neither endorses or accepts responsibility for the results of any relationships or transactions you might undertake with any companies or types of companies mentioned in this article. Do your due diligence.
These tumblers fit snuggly inside the socks, then I tucked the ankle area into the glasses for extra cushioning. Transport safely executed.
Planning for an upcoming move or a donation drop?
Without extra paper, newspaper, or bubble wrap, I turned to old socks to wrap glassware for safely relocating to a local donation center. Rather than let holey, stretched out, or odd lot socks (those that result from the post-washing one sock disappearance phenomenon) create clutter piles, use them as dusters or for storing or packing breakables.
I would recommend if you’re moving or storing glasses or other breakables to add cushioning between each piece with either repurposed paper, linens, or bubble wrap as an extra precaution.
Planning a move? Need more tips? Visit ThePracticalSort.com/tips.
You can always reach me at ThePracticalSort.com to chip away at your organizing dilemmas. It's easier and more fun with a buddy.
