No doubt, it’s easier to cut and run. Sticking with it requires work, patience, and sometimes financial investment. I’ve wanted to bolt more times than I can count. I’m certain my clients have as well. What are the chances of achieving the desired outcome when you hightail it too soon? What success is within your reach if you give it one more try?
I gave myself a blog, newsletter, and weekly tip summer pass. You’re reading this. Obviously, I didn’t cut and run. That’s ok, undeserved guilt has been appeased. Life is ironic. When I want a writing hiatus, ideas flow. When I intend to get something done, my mind goes blank. That’s when the temptation to go AWOL is irresistible. June, July and this month, content wrote itself. So why not go with the flow and check to-do checkboxes? Time off is great, and I will take some. Not yet. There’s always next month.
Is it Really Worth it?
Although content wrote itself, it’s not like I didn’t have to put in time and effort. Is the effort worth my time and energy if my tips or musings only help one person (presuming they do)? My insecurities consistently lead me to question output value. Should I keep going? Should I pack it in? When my internal feedback started going dark, fortunately I caught myself before bottoming out. Hurriedly, I flipped the switch. I wondered, what if my thoughts, words, suggestions lead to one less person in this world struggling with something big, small, irritating, or potentially harmful? What comfort is there to realize you’re not the only one mucking through the yuck? Suppose through my lens of experience, I help to make one person’s day, or I’ll settle for moment, a smidge easier? Then that’s one less case of rising blood pressure, irritability, feelings of inadequacy, and in some situations, tears. If you're that person, all the better. Totally worth it.
Those Icky Places
Embarrassment, low self-worth, confusion, anger, or other emotions keep us stuck in icky places. From an organizer’s point of view, icky places lurk among piles upon piles of clutter. Icky places can also be found in conflict-ridden relationships, unrealistic professional demands, raising kids in a topsy-turvy world. Ick comes in many forms. Unsuccessful past attempts to wade out of the mess, leads to questioning if trying once more is a fool's errand? You end up with no clue what to do anymore, unsure whether resolution is deserved. Can you tell I speak from personal and professional experience? Sadly, I can’t remember the last time I worked with a client who believed they were worthy of the life they were striving to achieve. At least at the start. Most of my clients who are classified as neurodiverse, don’t see themselves for who they truly are. They see themselves as a version of their perceptions of how other people perceive them. The lenses are cloudy. The filters, skewed. Do we really know how others see us? What if interpreted messages of unworthiness are erroneous? How do we course correct? From time to time, we need a hand. Sometimes the hand needs to hold ours a little tighter in order for us to stick with it so we don’t run out too soon.
Are You the Fortunate Few?
Lucky for me, I get the privilege of witnessing the physical and mental clutter dissipate. Within each session, clients begin to step into owning who they are, what they want, and how rightfully it’s deserved. Change takes time. Change moves forward, then slides back or stalls out until traction is more fluidly regained. Any type of transformation is a process. For the fortunate few, it’s more instantaneous (I’m jealously sticking my tongue out). For the rest of us, the haul is much longer.
My Life is Changing (Very Slowly)
Over the last several months, I’ve been engaging with 2 very special practitioners. They’re changing my life. I will most likely share more about them, and these endeavors in the future. Until then, let’s just say they’ve been a wellspring of patience, commitment, and encouragement. Those attributes are deeply appreciated. They’ve held my best interests when bolting felt like the only recourse. They see what I can’t. They have knowledge and wisdom in their professional realms that are far beyond my toolkit. Weirdly, they mirror conversations and strategies that I adeptly utilize with my own clients while I’ve not known how to apply to my own circumstances. “Organizer heal thyself.” Don’t get me wrong, my surroundings are typically tidy. The clutter in my brain, not so much.
I would presume that these 2 wise women have had many successes in their practices; otherwise, they might have given up. I would also surmise that there have been clients who didn’t reach their goals, or even come close. Clients who cut and ran when it got hard, taken too long, stretched beyond their wallets. I’ve had one or two of those. I’ve been one myself.
Success Rate is Relative
I don’t have 100% success rate in my life or in my job. Does anyone? In the 7+ years that The Practical Sort has been working with a multitude of women struggling with many forms of organizing challenges locally, across the country, and shockingly across the globe, the quantity of homes and more importantly, the number of lives that have transformed is more success than I could have ever dreamed. Sometimes it’s one word or one task that causes a monumental shift within their relationships inside spaces, alongside other people, and among their personal and professional expectations. Most projects involve long, occasionally painful overhauls of firmly entrenched patterns. These require intentionally intense digging into and excavating out before the slightest transition is detected. It’s not unusual after months of sessions that a client expresses doubts and frustrations that absolutely ZILCH has changed in their world. Are they certain? I have notes. Sometimes I archive photos. I recount where they started, how deeply they were physically and emotionally buried. After years of chaotic piles, non-functional rooms, appliances and utilities; their homes are once again serving as intended. They’re becoming who they’ve wanted to be. I’m continuing to grow in order to provide richer experiences. I’m sticking with it (for now) no matter how hard it gets some days.
You may not be at the finish line, but if you’ve left ground zero in the dust, you’re one step closer to being done. Finish line modified combined image by Gerd Altmann and Daniel Reche from Pixabay
The Finish Line is Up Ahead
Granted, you may not be at the finish line for your current project, and you may be inconsolably frustrated that it’s taken this long to barely move beyond where you started. But if you started, you’ve left ground zero in the dust, and at least there’s a chance you can see the finish line tape up ahead. A scene I’ve witnessed countless times, a moment that was not remotely imaginable when clients first reached out for help. Now their taste buds are salivating with high anticipation of some level of success. I’m trying to stay hopeful that I will be victorious too with my own journey. The finish line still feels miles away. Some days, the endline tape is nearly visible, and that encouragement feels good.
So if You Don’t Cut and Run…
What can you learn if you don’t cut and run? I’m learning from the client who told me that tension in her marriage is lessening after we talked about replacing one word in her phraseology. I’m learning from another client that being told for so long that she didn’t keep her house up to specific standards was a failing; hence, she didn’t deserve to live in a nice place. She now realizes she was only punishing herself throughout most of her adult life. I’m learning from a friend that a compliment shifted the way that she looks at her body. I’m learning from the aloof stranger with a dour visage, that a smile and hello can soften an expression. I’m learning from my practitioners that when one thing after another doesn’t work, it’s ok to get discouraged. It’s expected. I also deserve to keep trying.
What success is within your reach if you give it one more try? When you can’t go on, take a break. Long enough to restore whatever parts of you need restoration. Then step back into another round. Go with the flow and ride the waves of ease such as publishing content that writes itself, and save the brakes for another time. Put the pedal to the medal only when you have no other choice in order to avoid burning out. Burn out is definitely a prelude to cutting and running.
