Is time managing you or are you managing time? Achieve balance in your daily schedule.
The Back Story
It was ninth grade. The school days were long then punctuated by a series of after-school activities. It was a daily mix of cheerleading practice, ballet classes, cheering at basketball games or wrestling matches. Afterward there was a nightly rehearsal for a community musical. Dinner was often a granola bar on-the-go as I negotiated wardrobe changes in the car going from one activity to the next. Homework didn’t begin until 9 or 10 pm when my eyes were droopy and my energy was zapped. A brain that thinks it’s possible to do it all. I was so overscheduled that it was no surprise within a few weeks the insomnia started. My body and brain were exhausted yet refused to shut off. My grades began to slip, my mood was sour, my attention span was nil, and my energy was completely depleted. Fortunately, my body didn’t succumb to any serious illnesses like Mono. Eventually, somehow, and I don’t actually remember how, my sleep finally kicked back in. I had always been one of those teenagers who needed lots of sleep, so days on end with no sleep was definitely a detriment to my overall well-being.
Moderation and priority setting would have to be my modus operandi if I’m to stay the course in a relatively sane way.
Managing the Kiddos
When my kids were young, their after-school activities were mindfully arranged. They each had only between 1-3 activities at a time, and if simultaneous, then carpools had to be part of the agreement otherwise, limits were drawn. My husband often worked late hours or traveled, so he was only available occasionally and not reliably with his schedule. Dinners were prepped prior if there would be a latish return or activities had to be scheduled around homework and dinnertime so we didn’t live on fast food or relive my late night homework binges. Of course, there were unforeseen events along the way, but mostly we managed fairly well thanks to those carpools and later on public transit after our move to Oregon.
Image by rawpixel from Pixabay
Somewhere along the line, as a US society, we’ve decided that our kids need to be busy every moment of every day. It’s an observation, not a judgment. Truthfully, to some degree I’m like this as a Type ‘A’ adult. I rarely sit still and my mind doesn’t idle either. My mind and body appreciate, or dare say crave, continuous activity. Again it’s all about moderation. Somewhere between boredom and insanely busy is nirvana.
For kids, it’s probably ok to have some down time to relax their brains and bodies, find creative ways to occupy themselves, develop friendships with other kids organically not prearranged by sports, dance classes, or clubs. In fact, come to think of it, very few of my friends were from my extracurricular activities. Those spawned acquaintances and nice relationships, but my friends were from my neighborhood or school.
Even now that my kids are grown and on their own, I try to be mindful of my schedule. I’m fully aware that I’m blessed to have this flexibility luxury. I’m also keenly tuned into how easily my brain spins wildly as a result of overload when my calendar is too full. I rarely schedule more than 2 clients in a day. I need a refresher break in between and downtime to process mentally and administratively. If I were to go beyond, I’d be ineffective which would impact service quality.
Tipping the Scales
At what point do your scales tip beyond your comfort zone with extra activities? How do you keep life in check?
Organizing time for a family is tricky, no doubt. Let me reassure you, you’re not a bad parent if you limit the number of activities per child to 1-2/week. In fact, a less stressed out parent is better equipped for the role than one who is always frayed at the edges. Yep, I’m speaking from experience. Learned fast that it didn’t work well. That’s when I decided to establish reasonable boundaries for the sake of all of us.
Keep in mind with every activity including school, time commitments are often more intense than we originally plan for. You may also be tapped for homework help, commuting to playdates, and professional commitments if you also manage a career. Of course, there’s always housework, grocery shopping, billpaying, and all those other to-dos. Even with minimal extracurriculars chances are you will stay busy.
Hire housecleaners or ask other family members to chip in on chores. Image by kropekk_pl from Pixabay
Finding Balance
Here are some tips to achieve balance and maintain a smidge of sanity.
- Seek carpool mates, work out a trade-off schedule.
- Hire housecleaners if the budget can afford. Not economically feasible? Request help from your spouse (stop laughing! They might say yes.)
- Encourage your kids to chip in with age-appropriate chores. Chores are not unfair to them, they are actually opportunities for skill-building and promoting responsibility while relieving you from one more time gobbler and energy zapper. The sooner you all finish the tasks, the sooner you’ll be available to run them to a friend’s house, see a movie, grab a pizza, play a game, or watch a favorite tv show together.
- Use waiting rooms and carpool lines to knock out a few bills, return calls or emails.
- Order from a grocery delivery service if commuting to the store isn’t feasible or not your thing.
- Hire a babysitter, then find a quiet room or outdoor location to mellow out when life feels too big. A few minutes of fresh air and brain/body recharge might seem like a time waster but with a refilled resource cup, you will be more relaxed, more productive, and more ready to face others.
If you’re planning for just yourself:
Extroverts
- Fill your cup with a coffee or a glass of your favorite vino with a friend or two.
- Add more social engagements through fitness classes, adult education, hobbies
- Reserve some time for reflection, meditation, reading
- Schedule periodic social interactions
- Pencil in time afterward to crawl back into your bearcave for quiet decompression
- Ensure that your schedule accommodates your well-being. If it doesn’t, is there anything that can be cut? Try to drop one thing at a time or press pause on an activity or two until you find your balance.
Introverts
Introverts, Extroverts and Everyone In-between
Managing time instead of time managing you will definitely pay lucrative dividends.
[In the time since I originally wrote this blog (and forgot about it), I picked up a book entitled “Bored and Brilliant: How Spacing Out Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self” by Manoush Zomorodi which I plan to explore deeper in a future blog. The synchronicity between refinding this draft while reading the book is notable. Boredom as an avenue to our creative genius, who knew? Definitely not me. Obviously if you just read this blog you’ve noticed that I haven’t viewed boredom as an asset. I’m rethinking. Will keep you posted.]
